Because I lack boundaries I can share this with you…
Apr 29th, 2006 by B.
Today my cold is much better, but for some bizarre reason which will forevermore only be known to the gods of irony, it has somehow managed to morph into a yeast infection. Now I haven’t had a yeast infection since my uber-tight-jeans phase in the mid-90’s, so this has taken me by surprise. In the good old days I’d just send Jim to albertsons for some vagistat and snicker at the thought of how embarrassed he’d be paying for it… but we’re in the fatherland now, things are different.
So off I go this morning to the apotheke praying for one of two things to happen… either that there would be an entire counter filled with yeast-killing creams (meaning, I wouldn’t have to ask for anything) or that the pharmacist (or whatever you call them here) would speak fluent english. Wouldn’t it just figure I’d strike out on both counts? And have you ever tried to describe a yeast infection using only hand gestures & facial expressions? Not fun. For the first 15 minutes or so I’m pretty sure she thought I had crabs. Hell, she probably still does…
End result, I walked out with something like this:
And a strange white powder. I’m also pretty sure she also mentioned something about heineken… not sure if I’m supposed to drink it, douche it, or brew it with the leftover yeast… some things are better left unknown.
“vaginal pipe”…. oh, i am so suggesting that to mr. j. for the title of his next song… that’s awesome!
Vaginal Yeast? Gosh, Are you related to Madge Weinstein?! She’s constantly talking about Vaginal Yeast and how she’s a bloated lesbian.
BTW, don’t listen to madge if you are easily offended.
Hope you recover quickly, but I, for one, don’t need additional details.
Oh man… Adam just compared me to a bloated lesbian! Et tu, Brute? lol
I totally blame the cold & um, secondary infection, on the so-called healthy steam bath/sauna Jim dragged me to last weekend.
OMG…I am so sorry…cant says while tears of laughter roll down her cheeks. Can I express mail you something?
Heh.. nope, it’s all good. I persevered and finally found someone who spoke enough english to help me. I’m like the little engine that could… only, with yeast.
Oh man, I’m glad you were kidding. Yeast infections are no laughing matter. Ha ha. But it’s true that the more embarassing/delicate your ailment, the more likely it is you’ll have to ask the pharmacist for whatever is is that’ll help the most.
Oh my. Did you ever find out what to do with the Hennie? (I am *so* trying not to visualize this…)
Okay, first of all, B, I hope you’re feeling better, second…Ummm, that contraption, whatever it is, looks a bit scary, & I hope you didn’t have to resort to using it…Yiiiikes! lol
Did you have to take antibiotics for your flu? That may have caused the yeast infection. I got one about a year and a half ago and went to the pharmacy here in Germany. They did not give me THAT! Oh my God!
Be sure you check out yesteryear’s advertisments for females…