Consider yourself forewarned… a lame entry.
Sep 20th, 2006 by B.
Yesterday after almost a week and a half out, Sydney was back to school. It’s still surreal to me dropping her off each day… and today I realized something. I’m a mom snob. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to do the kindergarten circuit, but I remember before trying to chit-chat with the other moms and network and stuff. This time around my heart’s just not in it. Each day I think to myself ‘you should really make an effort to get to know the other moms’ and each day I end up walking to just outside their group and standing alone staring intently toward the school while doing my best to seem unapproachable without being rude. I’m hoping it comes across like I’m shy, but who knows…
Either way I need to work on this because in a private school setting I think the moms expect even more in the way of … hmmm, not sure of the word I want to use… I’ll go with joining. They expect more in the way of joining in. And while I don’t mind at all being the loner, I don’t want it to reflect badly on Sydney. Like “let’s not invite Sydney to little Billy’s birthday party because her mom isn’t a member of our bridge club” kind of thing. But the flip side to being sally social is that they’ll probably ask me to join in & do stuff that I won’t want to do… and then I’ll say yes knowing there’s maybe a 20% chance I’ll actually show up or whatever, and then I’m right back in the same boat… it’s a vicious cycle. I guess being a joiner requires a level of discipline I personally don’t possess.
(Actually, I could devote an entire month’s work of entries to my lack of discipline… it’s why I still need to lose weight, live in a messy flat, lose touch of people & things I really meant to keep up with & have hundreds of half-finished projects laying around- but it’s off topic for now)
And when I say I’m a ‘mom snob’… it’s not at all that I think I’m better than anyone else. I don’t. But I do worry that I’ll come across that way. The truth is, I guess, that I’m just antisocial. Something some people understand and might even relate to, but in my experience pta moms almost never do. Still, there’s not much I wouldn’t do for my children. It’s a conundrum.
Ah well, a convoluted entry about nothing of interest. Heh, sorry, I’ll try to do better tomorrow.
On this day..
- Online shopping in Germany, part 1. - 2007
- Advice Needed. - 2006
- Eureka! - 2006
I do not like having to put on airs or give false niceties to blend in or do social networking, but you never know, you might meet one or two moms (or dads) there that you click with … a Pink Floyd lovin’ Ben Folds fan with strong anti-establishment political tendancies.
I’m not all doom & gloom, but I do not get the people who are always the ray of sunshine, just unnaturally happy. Are they totally oblivious, with no adversity in their lives or just on something ?
What’s worse, their geniality often lies on the surface, and some are quick to talk about you, or bury the knife deep. Cliques are so Jr. High & High School, but many never progressed past them.
My folks were not part of any real network, and we lived somewhere past the outskirts of infinity, so I really did not get to do much with other kids except during school … a few birthday parties, and a few years of LL baseball … so lots of long summer days spent by myself (back with no internet, nintendo, a/c, or tv or when we had it, just 5 grainy channels. lol ).
Considering how I turned out … you might have to join the Bridge Club for Syndey’s sake
b, it is spooky reading your blog sometimes. we are so alike!
i don’t have kiddies but i can understand how you’d want to do what’s best for them while at the same time trying to be true to yourself. there has to be a balance somewhere and i’m sure you’ll find it.