Surfacing.
Nov 16th, 2006 by B.
Yesterday I dropped the in-laws off at the airport and immediately went into mommy mode. First by taking Robbie to the orthodontist to have her braces put on… then by bringing Sydney back to the doctor to see about the cough that’s never really gone away since she was so sick a few months back.
Robyn had a good attitude about the braces, but I should have known I was in for it when she said she had a plan to “distract” from the braces so boys would hardly notice them. After arriving home she disappeared into her room, only to come out about an hour later with sooooo much eye makeup on that she made elizabeth taylor as cleopatra seem like a fresh-faced, natural beauty. She said she read in seventeen magazine that the trick is to draw the eyes up…. I now hate seventeen magazine. With a passion.
As for Sydney, well, she’s had a cough forever now. Lately it’s been getting worse, with her waking up at night and sometimes even throwing up. No fun to be certain, so I figured I’d take her in and get some cough medicine… maybe an antibiotic or something. What I got instead was a rather serious doctor telling me she has asthma. Now I always thought asthma wasn’t that big a deal, probably because no one I knew had it… but to listen to this doctor it’s a huge thing. For those of you who have asthma or know of someone who does… is it really a serious, life altering thing, or was our doctor just being an alarmist?
I mean, I felt pretty stupid not knowing she had it, I always thought people with asthma wheezed, not coughed. And he didn’t help by telling me I should have known. I miss american doctors who are nice to you no matter what… you can tell them you have an intravenous drug habit, smoke 4 packs a day & freely share your std’s, and they’ll nod and say “well, try to cut back a little if you can”… instead I got “you must watch your child’s symptoms more closely and act quickly”. Yeah, I left feeling like mother of the year…
Anyway, we were sent home with a breathing machine that Syd must use 6-8 times a day (try that with a kiddo in school) and return appointments to test her breathing capacity and figure out what she’s allergic to that’s triggering her attacks… I said “probably germany”.
With all that, I’ve hardly had time to register the fact that I’m several people and a lot of headaches lighter. In fact, I made it home at the end of the day and had a good cry at the fact that I’m a shitty mom who can’t tell the difference between a cough and a prolonged asthma attack. It was about at that point that Robbie walked out made up like mimi from the drew carey show… which queued even more tears.
But today was a little better. I didn’t have to smell coffee first thing in the morning… and after I got back from dropping the girls off at school there was a box of american goodies waiting for me, courtesy of Jen from Heisse Scheisse . This was such a kind thing to do… and it came at a time when I really needed a little extra kindness. Thanks so much, Jen.
This evening I’m going to take a big stack of magazines into the bathroom and barricade myself for the world’s longest bubble bath. I can almost feel my equilibrium returning…
Hey, the asthma diagnosis really got my attention. I know a bit about this. I grew up with huge allergy problems, breathing issues and was always sick with bronchitis and pneumonia. Don’t panic and definitely don’t feel bad.
There are a lot of reasons this could be happening and it could be a ton of things, this just happens to be a doctor’s favorite diagnosis. It’s not easy to tell the difference between ‘real’ attacks and other events, so I think it may be time to consider another doctor. In fact before you accept any such diagnosis get a second or third opinion. (I was never officially diagnosed, something I thanked the stars for when I had to get my own insurance as an adult.) If possible call your old pediatrician in the US and get some advice from someone who speaks your language as a mothertongue. Culture affects how doctors treat illness (have you noticed the paranoia about antibiotics, cortisone and flouride?), ask your old doctor about medications and tests to ask for. It could be a new animal or food allergy, it could be mold in the apartment. There is a difference between allergy asthma, chronic asthma and psychologically triggered asthma (good old panic attacks), all can be treated and none have to seriously affect her life.
I won’t use up all your comment section on this, but feel free to email me. If it helps to know: I had really bad allergy-triggered ‘asthma’. I haven’t had my inhaler with me for 16 years now, my last attack was when I was about 15. I’m healthy, if a bit lazy…
Chin up, you’re not at fault here, but this doctor may be a chronic sufferer of being an ass.
I have mild, allergy-triggered asthma that was diagnosed when I was 10 or 11. I always had terrible hay fever, and I started having coughing/wheezing symptoms along with my usual drippy eyes/nose and uncontrollable sneezing.
While severe asthma can be life-threatening, I imagine there are plenty of us out here who manage it easily by staying away from the stuff that triggers it, just like you’d manage any other allergy. I, too, haven’t used my inhaler for years. I have noticed that it takes me a long time (weeks, more than a month usually) to get rid of the cough part of a cold/cough. But it does go away eventually (and the doctor always tells me to either use my inhaler or just wait, and it does eventually disappear).
I’m with Megan. Get a second opinion and, the next time you visit the Motherland (Fatherland? NancyPelosLand?) take her to pediatrician and/or an allergist just to get a different perspective. I have the feeling that there’s a big grey area in diagnosing it when the case is relatively mild. And checking the “asthma” box on those health insurance forms can cause some huge red flags, so she’ll want to be positive that’s what’s going on.
Having said all that, asthma certainly isn’t anything to play around with, so it’s wise that you are taking it so seriously since it is a scary condition for those who suffer from serious cases. It CAN be a life-altering thing, but it very well might not be, too.
And don’t let the Arzt make you feel bad. I find that there tends to be a need to assign responsibility around here (when a flight is delayed, for example, ever noticed that a Lufthansa pilot announces not only the predicted time of takeoff but also the reason why it’s not his airline’s fault?). Maybe he’s just making sure you know HE isn’t the one that missed a diagnosis?
Feel free to email me if you want. And enjoy the reclamation of your life!
Thanks Megan & Blythe… I know she’s got asthma now because they ran tests on her last wednesday that showed clearly diminished breathing capacity. The plan is to nebulize the heck out of her until next tuesday when we return for a second round of tests. This supposedly will determine if it’s chronic, or just her way of reacting to a particularly bad cold.
I think the worst thing about this pediatrician is that he speaks very little english… wow, that sounds really selfish, doesn’t it? After all I’m in his land, he should be the one complaining about my lack of deutsch. Either way I’m on the hunt for someone I can understand a bit better.
After all, if this is going to be an ongoing thing, I’d like to at least understand what we’re up against.
I have allergy related asthma. It was out of control for a long time because in my youth I refused to take it seriously. Then I decided to work it out. I take allergy tabs now as I am allergic to trees, pollen, etc. It keeps the breathing okay. Then I decided to increase my lung capacity with exercise and that helped get me to the point where I don’t use my inhaler unless I get sick.
If possible find an inhalation therapist who speaks a little more English. Although I know in the part of Germany you live in, that’s going to be a challenge.
Good luck and keep us posted.