How did I not know this??
It’s official, I’ve been away from America a long, long time. How I know… because Big Brother 8 has been on for two weeks and I’m just now figuring it out. Sheesh, it’s only the reality tv/voyeur’s holy grail. So instead of doing the sensible thing and going to bed because I know I have to get up early and schlep all the way to the airport in Berlin, I’ve been glued to youtube all night catching up on episodes & live feed stuff.
Anyway, here are my thoughts in order of who I’ve formed the strongest opinions of so far:
Jen- Jen’s a completely self-obsessed airhead twit, but god damn it… I kind of like her. If she somehow survives this week I think she’ll last right up until Danielle gets HOH and boots her in a fit of girl-on-girl rage. I mean, I want to hate Jen… she’s everything I can’t stand about that extra ‘x’ chromosome- all neatly wrapped in a hot little package & tied with a freaky unitard bow. Still, she kept her composure during the Dick onslaught (how’s that for a double entendre?) and did what the voices in her head… her very own ‘jensa’ think tank… told her to instead of listening to everyone else.
Kail- Hopefully she goes this week. There’s nothing worse than a bible-quoting-homophobe-soccer-mom. This woman is so high-strung and easily irritated that if someone bent her over and shoved a few grains of sand up her ass, well, they’d have a pearl necklace by christmas. Plus game-wise she’s just stupid.
Amber- About that whole ‘nothing worse than a bible-quoting-homophobe-soccer-mom’ bit… well, there is… meet Amber. I’d rather braid Kail’s hair while debating Danielle Steel novels than be stuck in a room alone with Amber. If Jen has even a fraction of the brain I’m giving her credit for she’ll deflect ED’s intentions by lighting Amber up like the cheap K-Mart special she is.
Zach- Had the good sense to jump off the Kail bandwagon this week & proclaim his fondness for Dick (heh, it just never gets old), so hey… credit where it’s due. He’ll be around for many weeks. That said, never trust anyone with that many teeth. He scares me in a Kennedy-Chapaquitic-Scottfree kinda way.
Dustin- Awww, the sensitive and shy gonorrhea-giving boyfriend. He’s just misunderstood… yawn. Anyone who loves Amber that much clearly has gonococcus for brains. I miss Joe already.
Jessica- Seriously, people don’t really talk like that, do they?? I’m reminded of the summer I had chicken pox. It must have been about 90 degrees, I had an enormous fever and all I wanted to do was sleep, but two cats were right outside my building having the noisiest, screechiest, cat-scratch-fever sex I’d ever heard. Jessica’s voice is on par with that. I’m sure deep down she’s a great gal with tons of redeeming qualities, but… shallow person that I am… I can’t get past the voice. That said, she’ll go far. Like, final two far.
Jameka- Love this girl. She’s the one I’d seek out to be pals with, but she’s so going to supernova soon. And when she does it’ll be a beautifully scary thing. Basically she takes herself too seriously and tries to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. And while it’s noble in a real-world sort of way, I give her 3-4 weeks before she turns on the house like a rabid dog, calling them all out for the shallow motherfuckers they are. I can’t wait…
Dick- How can you not appreciate Dick? (snicker… sorry, I’ll try to get it out of my system soon) I realize many people have been singing the praises of Dick’s straight-shooting charm, but I’m ambivalent. There’s just something about him that rubs me the wrong way. I don’t think he’s genuine when it comes to his feelings for his daughter. Instead he’s playing to his audience (what was it dr. will said last season? know your role?). That said, I do admire his take-no-prisoners approach. At very least he makes things interesting- the house would be way too vanilla/lilith fair without Dick to mix it up. Still, I give him 3 weeks tops… I’m also going on record as predicting his daughter will vote to evict him.
Danielle- Jesus, somebody get that girl a sandwich… (and there’s no way she’ll make it to the end)
Nick- Dude’s got cromagnon written all over him. Still, he’s sweet in a goofy Keanu-as-Ted-Theodore-Logan kinda way. And while he’ll most likely last much longer than either Danielle or Dick, I doubt he’ll win.
Eric- What a tool. I’m telling you, ‘america’s player’ will rob him of a win because voters will eventually realize it’s more fun having him do the opposite of everyone else. He actually seems way too normal to be on a show like Big Brother… more like he should fast-tracking himself through a summer internship with the irs or something (he’s so got ‘cpa’ written all over him).
Mike- Mike is either stupid or brilliant. Time will tell.
And with that I now have about 4 hours before I need to leave for Berlin. Time to sleep!
Wait, you’re going to get the Dick out of your system soon? tee hee hee. I don’t think his feelings are Jenuine either, but at the same time I don’t think he’d ever evict Daniele.
I watch every episode and … there’s a guy named Mike on the show?
I was soooo hoping Amber would win the HOH this week. It would be 7 straight days of crying.
Dustin needs to knock it off with the v-neck t-shirts that show off his chest hair sweater vest.
I can’t stand Jen, but the show would lose what makes it so good if she gets voted off this week.
I think Daniele will make it to the end, or pretty close. Last week almost everyone in the house remarked about how funny she is (really?) and Dick won’t vote her off and none of the guys will vote her off because she’s not annoying like Jen and she’s fun to look at.
Oh, and nice title. I was supposed to read 1984 in high school, but opted for the Cliff Notes. I’m reading it now and loving it.