Why I should never, ever under any circumstance send email after only 2.5 hours of sleep:

exhibit a:
I’m running out of excuses. To get out of dinner last night I claimed my ovaries were pinching. I mean, it worked, but what’s next? My piles are protruding? Syphilis rash flaring up? It’s all downhill from here…

exhibit b:
You can kick me under the table before I point out how boring & trite I find cerebral circle jerks to be.

exhibit c:
Oh man, I just did something really desperate & completely out of character… like, fuck-donnie-osmond-behind-the-bleachers-at-a-mormon-rally, desperate…

exhibit d:
She could suck the fun out of mardi gras… and not in a good way ; )

exhibit e:
I remember in my twenties thinking forty was older than shit… and now that I’m practically 40, I’m not so sure my opinion has changed.

On this day..

• Moment of zen. - 2007
• Parting shots. - 2007
• Vive la France! - 2006