I’m not normally a person who bitches about new technology… you wont find me waxing poetic about ie5, or reminiscing about ‘the good ol days’ of atari & apple II. I feel absolutely no loyalty when it comes to an os or where I should park my homepage. I pretty much just… go with the flow. Whatever is first installed has always been a-ok with me, and I’ve learned to adapt, unlike Jim who pisses & moans and threatens a complete wipe & linux overhaul on a bimonthly basis.

Yep, until now I’ve been chill with pretty much anything microsoft lobbed my way, then came vista. Vista is such a complete piece of shit that it makes me want to hike up my skirt a little more and show my world to mac os (sidebar- interesting use of cheesy dave matthews lyrics). It’s not that vistas huge and clunky (even though it is). It’s not even that I resent microsoft paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to marketing & branding weenies only to have them determine that the average customer is too fucking stupid and careless for something with even a modicum of speed and precision (even though I do… resent it that is). Nope, it’s all the extra ’security’ that makes me hate… scratch that… loathe vista.

I recently upgraded to a system with a faster processor, more ram, and Ghz out the whazoo. Yet web pages, when they actually load (roughly 75-80% of the time), take twice as long thanks to all the extra “security” built into this latest offering. Beyond that there are other user-unfriendly quirks that have finally added up to enough to make me say… fuck it… I can no longer sit back & take it.

So, very soon I’ll be handing my shiny, sexy new laptop over to Jim and pacing nervously while he clicks buttons that say things like “critical system files will be overwritten” and “all data in this file will be lost”. But hopefully it’ll come back to me sleeker- the fast cat it was always meant to be. I now know why my caged bird wasn’t singing… fucking microsoft.

On this day..

• Berlin Bound. - 2006