1. I honestly prefer being called ‘B.’, I’m not just posting that way to protect my identity. I can’t stand my name… not really sure why. Personally I think we should all be called by nicknames- adds to the mystery. Peeling back a person’s identity/personality one layer at a time is great fun. And yes, I appreciate the irony of a statement like that coming from someone like me who shares more than she should with virtual (and virtual!) strangers.
2. Speaking of names, I suck at remembering them. Details like what was discussed or who ordered what for dinner, no problem. But name I’ll always struggle with.
3. I don’t trust people who never curse, seem down, or lose their composure. The perpetually happy are all just waiting to be recruited by some Jim Jones wannabe if you ask me.
4. I once dated a cross-dresser. I didn’t know it when we first started going out, but eventually he trusted me enough to tell me. I was more or less ok with it (it would be a lie to say I accepted it fully), then one night we got into a huge fight and I said some really awful things to him… I’ve never forgiven myself for that. We’re still friends, but a lot of damage was done by my inability to (a) acknowledge I felt threatened by something I didn’t understand, and (b) override my desire to seem cool & cosmopolitan by asking enough (and the right kind of) questions to reach a true point of comfort. I got there eventually, but it wasn’t my finest moment and I learned a valuable lesson.
5. I find people who use double negatives in their speech or writing to be sweet and sort of endearing. It’s cute.
6. I have a super-secret, super boring second blog that only one other person knows about. I picked a blah name, write about one subject only, and could really care less if anyone reads or not. It’s kind of liberating. If/when you feel pressured to preform on your blog, I’d highly recommend it as a way to take the edge off.
7. I’m not the same person I was at 29. Nor will I be the person I am now at 49. People who insist they haven’t changed… who hold on to the same old stories / childhood pals / schoolmates scare me. Being stuck in a time warp is a willful act of self-delusion.
8. Following hot on the heels of number 7 is the fact that I have a huge aversion to anyone over the age of, say, 23 who still wears a class ring.
9. I’ve made some terrible mistakes in my life… burned bridges I never wanted to… have many regrets. That said, there’s not much I’d willingly change, as each has gotten me closer to the person I am today. And although I’m the first to admit I’m still fully flawed, I’m finally comfortable in my own skin- and that’s a good thing.
10. I can’t stand it when people judge others for something they’ve never been through themselves. Example: those who hate women who’ve had abortions. Before you judge, go have one yourself. Grapple with the conflicting emotions, guilt and finality of the situation as it relates to your own life first. Then, and only then, are you qualified to serve up any sort of opinion or judgment. Even if it’s one I happen not to agree with it, I’ll respect your right to an opinion once you’ve been there yourself. But if you haven’t walked a mile in those shoes… best to shut the hell up and stay out of it.
11. I’m the least romantic person I know. I view candles as nothing more than fire hazards, I rolled my eyes when Richard Gere carried the girl out of that factory in An Officer & A Gentleman, and the thought of cuddling just for the sake of cuddling makes about as much sense to me as Steven Hawkings without the voice synthesizer. Oh, and I might just be the only female in the world who doesn’t get the allure of Grey’s Anatomy and could give a shit about Steamy, McDreamy or that dude who played Robin in one of the Batman movies. I also believe that love and sex can be two mutually exclusive things. That said- no, I don’t cheat on my husband and, no, we’re not swingers.
12. I worry that I’m not a very good mother. I can be cold and detached about many things; I fear my children not only pick up on it, but will one day think it applies to them as well.
13. I have zero desire to live in the United States again. Visit, sure… but to live there again? Nope. In fact, I don’t get people who move here and hate it (I’ve encountered many at the international school). I can’t fathom giving up the history, beauty, and old world charm of Europe to return to… what? All night shopping? Better customer service? Mega malls? Ease of communication? I think about going back to a measly two weeks of vacation per year and trying to get excited over (local) trips to places like Las Vegas or Disney World or Mt. Rushmore, and I just shake my head. After living here and experiencing what six plus weeks of government-sanctioned vacation can be like… all while visiting countries so ripe with natural beauty and rich history, that I just can’t imagine imagine going back to the rat race & corporate greed of America. That said, I’m still proud to be an American… so please, no hate mail.

On this day..

• Ferrero, you foul temptress. - 2007
• They say the darndest things. - 2007