Today is not my day.
Nov 13th, 2007 by B.
Sorry, whining ahead… feel free to close your browser at any point.
Today I had another in a long line of doctor’s appointments and, since I don’t like driving on that side of town, I decided to take the tram. I bought a 4-single-pass ticket, hopped on, stamped it and thought nothing more. Then the ticket checker guy comes through and apparently I’d bought a child’s pass. I realize after 1.5 years I should probably know that it DOES matter which side of the machine you press to get your ticket, but I almost never take the tram these days (and when I used to I was in a contract and the pass was always mailed to me). So for a price difference of 30 or 40 cents I now have a 30€ fine. Ouch.
And would it have been so bad to show a little leniency in this case? I mean, I had a ticket… I’d canceled the ticket… I clearly wasn’t trying to sneak a free ride or anything.
But I guess the bottom line is I’m the idiot who didn’t understand the ticket buying process. Talk about feeling stupid and embarrassed.
Then I make it to the dr’s office… he’s out but they needed to draw pints of blood and some other stuff, so I get the staff who speak absolutely no English. At the end of the visit they handed me a plastic vial and said something I completely did not understand (other than the fact that I was supposed to bring it back with me this Friday for my next appointment). Now normally when this happens I hand them a pen & paper and ask for it to be written down (so I can go home and translate), but the lady dashed off into another room before I could. I waited around for about 20 minutes… then admitted defeat and came home with my mystery vial. Here’s what it looks like:
Does anyone know what the hell it’s for?? I’m guessing they want a urine sample? Maybe? But normally that’s done in the office, so I’m not 100% sure. And wouldn’t I look like the complete moron if I showed up Friday morning with a fresh vial of pee and, I don’t know, it was suppose to be for a hair sample or skin scrapings or what sort of toothpaste I use…
Man am I sick of feeling like an idiot. In my defense though, medical stuff I suspect is something that never really gets learned. I could go to a million language classes and not make it to the German term for urine sample or neoantigens or pneumophlebdyniapathy. Ok, I made that last one up… but you get my drift.
For now I’m going to drown my sorrows in Ungarisch Chipsfrisch & try to figure out which bodily fluid I’m expected to insert into this little plastic tube. Oy.
On this day..
- Blah. - 2007
Don’t be so hard on yourself B. Even if you were more fluent in German, chances are that the words they used wouldn’t be in your vocab. This makes them the asshats for not making sure you understood. As there are only two substances you can easily produce for them and there is no visible spoon attached, it could be concluded that they want urine. But to be sure, do you have a friend who can call and ask them to confirm what it is for? It would be better to be sure than to show up with the wrong…. um… sample for them.
I agree with Megan, it would be best to have somebody call and ask what kind of sample they need. Imagine how you’d feel handing over the wrong substance!
Although I’m also placing my bets on urine.
I have no idea what it is for but what Megan said makes sence.
I do feel your pain though, when I couldn`t speak Japanese very well I had an asthma attack and went to the hospital. TB is still a problem in Japan and when I walked in wheezing and coughing not knowing the word for asthma they tried to put a mask over me so that i would NOT INFECT OTHERS thinking that maybe I had TV….It made my asthma worse of course. This was the same day that the nurse said she was going to do something and then gave me a drip…..I had no idea what they were giving me and I am alergic to some medications but I didn`t know what to say so just waited there hoping whatever they were giving me wouldn`t kill me. Now I hold my electronic dictionary close at the doctors, even though I hardly ever need it.
Hope you figure it out!
Hmm…I’m puzzled too. They do sometimes ask for you to take a urine sample at home and bring it in, but the little cups I’ve gotten don’t look like that. But as Megan says, there is no spoon so they probably don’t want a stool sample unless your ailment is pointing in that direction. Go for getting further information. DoctorSpeak can be really difficult sometimes.
Whoa. See, it never even entered my mind it could be for a stool sample. Uh, if that’s the case I think I’d prefer to claim ignorance and buy myself some time. And I’m just being treated for thyroid issues so I can’t imagine what they’d need with poo…. the sick bastards.
That’s a heck of a favor to ask a friend “hey, would you mind calling my doctor and finding out if I need to pee or poo in this little tube…”
I might just wing it. lol
You realize you’re going to have to give us an update when you find out. Please time it for late in the day, so it doesn’t pop up in my feed reader until after I’ve had lunch.
I wish I could help you. I’ve definitely donated my share of urine to the DAK but the cups didn’t look like that, though there’s probably no law that says all urine sample containers are created equal. Then again, there might be a law like that around here.
(These comments are going to bring some AWESOME search traffic to your site.)
Damn! Been there too many times!
Lee
Sorry you are not feeling well. My guess would be urine too. I agree with Christine that if they need a stool sample, the container usually has some utensil. You could “accidently” forget the sample and hope they will agree to one being taken on site.
Look for markings on the tube to find the manufacturer. Look up the manufacturer’s website for a catalog and see if you can identify it and its purpose from the catalog.
If that doesn’t work, pretend like they never gave it to you and wait for them to ask for it. When they ask, just play dumb. I’m sure whatever goes in there, you could probably provide it on the spot if need be.
Google found this: http://www.tiassainc.com/p_m_plastic3.html
Personally, I think they want a loogy in it.
Well I’d take spitting over shitting any day of the week, that’s for sure. But I’ve decided to do what I do best… that’s right… play dumb.
And if the doctor whips out anything spoon-like during my exam I’m going to insist on a safe word before continuing…
B. Just to complicate things further for you: Fergus needs to be checked again for worms (kitten love kick back). I just picked up a stool sample vial from the vet and guess what it looks like…?
I’m thinking my initial idea was wrong and the source you need to tap is on the other side. The more I think about it, the vial is rather small for urine. If you don’t have anyone who can call, you could go to the appt., play dumb and just have to go through another appointment. Maybe then they’ll be more careful about being sure you understand next time.
Good Luck! Eat lots of fiber!
That looks really tiny for urine … I’m jumping on the loogy bandwagon. But you never know, toe jam could be a possibility. Please keep us posted to the mystery fluid container.