Giving bums a bad name.
Jan 10th, 2008 by B.
Alternate title: Young republican.
I’m a soft touch. A real bleeding-heart… we need more social programs, not less… treat others the way you’d want to be treated… this land is your land, this land is my land… pinko kommie liberal. So when people come up to me on the streets asking for money I usually give them some- the thought being if I were down on my luck I’d want someone helping me out, too.
Fast forward to today when Syd and I stepped off the tram only to be accosted by some dude asking for money. He must have heard us speaking english because he came over and said (in english) “Have you any money so I may eat lunch?”
No problem… I reached in my pocket, pulled out 3.50 in coins, dropped them in his hand and turned to leave. Then I heard him say “Have you more? This won’t buy much”.
What. The. Fuck.
I just looked at him incredulously and walked away.
Of course Sydney decided this was the perfect time to give me a civics lecture: “You really shouldn’t give him money, mommy. If he wants to eat he should get a job, just like everybody else…”
Oy.
On this day..
- My vet is insane. - 2007
- Development Arrested. - 2007
I would have pointed out that 3,50€ is more than US$5.
tqe / adam’s last blog post..Travel Advisory
I was harassed by a woman last spring. She spoke to me in German. I tried to play the “I don’t speak German card” to get her to leave me alone (and I was with The Boy, and I am overprotective of him in public). She switches to English. When I politely refuse… I only had the cash for the train on me… she told me she has to eat. I snapped back, well, so do I. She says, I don’t have a job. I say, nor do I. She says that my husband does, and I reply, yes, but not for long (it was near the end of the season). She cusses at me in German. I tell her that I understood what she said. She finally leaves me alone.
Usually, I share, but she really just torked me off!
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B. ! !
You haven’t been letting your child watch Bush on TV have you ???
You are generous, B!
You’re heart’s in the right place, but Syd may also have pointed out that the money may not all go food… Wherever possible, we try to give out an extra belegtes Brötchen, fruit if we’ve been shopping. Money can be spent on anything.
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I never give away money to people, I guess for a variety of reasons. Once I also pretended that I couldn’t understand any German and the guy really made a long effort to try to speak English even though it was absolutely terrible, but it seemed like he was trying so hard and really struggling and getting frustrated with himself that I actually felt kinda bad. But I still didn’t give him anything.
Adam- I also know for a fact that you can get a huge doner right around the corner from the tram stop he was at… the ingrate!
Maria- I don’t blame you for not giving her €€, at least my guy didn’t bitch me out when I walked off.
Remus- Tell me about it! I tried to give her the whole ’share with the less fortunate’ talk, but she wasn’t having any of it…
Ian- Handing out food most definitely IS a better idea.
Alex- Yep, I probably need to adopt a no handout policy… I swear I must have ’sucker’ flashing in bright neon on my forehead because people wanting money can usually sniff me out from a mile away.
On this side of the pond — in my midwestern neighborhood, to be exact — we had a woman come to our door, offering to rake our leaves for food money. We didn’t have any cash, didn’t really have any leaves, and it was too dark to rake anyways. I offered her a couple of cans of soup and she walked off. [I live in a "mixed income" neighborhood -- two blocks to the east and the houses cost $300K easily, three blocks to the west and you start seeing what my lilly white conservative students call "the 'hood."]
We’ve had a couple of other people come to our door for stuff, but after we got the Black Plague of Death (our nickname for our humongous black dog) the traffic stopped. LOL. I guess he has earned his kibble.
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i seem to recall my kids saying stuff like that… of course, not so much any more since they are adults living at home and sponging off of mommy.
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I am sorry that I am enjoying a laugh at your expense
I normally give people money as well…but this would certainly turn me off for a while.
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I am just like you and everyone always gives me crap for it. I cant help it though, I feel the exact same way. If I was having a hard time for whatever reason, I would hope people would help me. But it sucks when things like that happen (they make it obvieous that they dont appriecate or whatever) espically because that gives all the people who think its wrong of me to do what I do a reason to say “told u so”. Not like that stops me, but you know what i mean!
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Hold on! The real pros at this begging game do not ask women with children for money. This is the experience I had, anyway, after having my son. I didn’t move or change anything else, I just added a kid to the picture. And if they insist on bugging you, just smile and say you don’t have any money. They usually end up wishing me a nice day if I just smile and be nice.
I can’t believe he complained to you. What a jerk! I know there are folks who make begging a career in large cities. One such ring was “busted” in Seattle. About 10 people living in a very expensive house, decked out with all the latest. They worked in shifts, standing on the corner, looking poor. HOWEVER, there are truly legit cases of people needing help that we pass by daily. I guess in the end, trying to be a decent person means understanding that YOU don’t know if this person is a scammer who lives off saps like you and you probably never will. But maybe you’re truly helping someone who “deserves” (in OUR judgement, which cosmically doesn’t count) the help. For that reason my husband and I usually give a bit away.
As an aside, I once had one of our neighborhood meth-addicts accost me in front of Safeway, saying she hadn’t eaten for 3 days, did I have money. (Meth is a huge prob back in my old town in the US.) I told her the truth… sorry, I don’t have any cash. I’m broke and maxing out my tiny-limited credit card to get food until payday, so I can’t even GET cash. She quipped, “Well, I sure wish *I* had a CREDIT CARD”, really snottily. While in the store I got pissed. I worked through hell, illness & a bankruptcy to earn that damn card. It’s not my fault she chose to do drugs. Who is she to make me feel bad about not being on the street?! So I bought a deli sandwich, a cookie & a bottle of water for her, since I believed she just wanted money for drugs. Unfortunately, when I got out of the store she was gone. I wanted to see the look on her face when I gave her what she SAID she needed: FOOD. Maybe she’d have been really thankful. I doubt it, but who knows.
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When I lived in Richmond, VA, (for college) there was a troop of homeless folks who lived right behind my house. As I was walking past one day, they asked if I could bring them something to drink. I went inside, got some water and brought it out the them. They turned it down and asked if I didn’t have some Pepsi. I said that no, I don’t drink soda. They said rather harshly, “Then go to the store and buy us some Pepsi.” I just turned around and went inside. Since then, I haven’t given anything to beggars. That treatment, and the fact that we had to keep our blinds closed because of their frequent afternoon orgies, really turned me off to the plight of the homeless. Not that I’m heartless or anything, I’ll give to a shelter, but not to an individual. They can go to a shelter if they need something.
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Hi B. I don’t understand why your son’s comment should be attributed to a “young Republican” (especially considering that Repubs and Dems feed from the same murky trough). Unlike in the US, Germany offers a velvet-lined social welfare net that takes a dedicated and creative effort to fall through. The chemically dependent will merely use my handout to perpetuate their condition, and any other beggar could get more from the government than from the street - if not, I’m in the wrong business. I might grumble when 40% of my family’s income disappears into the government void, but I recognize the social benefits it brings and believe the US would be better off with something similar.
And I’ve never voted Republican.
Hi Chris. Good point… especially the bit about the line being so fuzzy these days between dems & republicans. To me though, the whole ‘we work hard for our money - so should you’ is forever associated with the Ronald Reagan/Young Republican 80s era. Definitely not something I want my daughters to emulate!
You’re absolutely right about Germany’s social welfare support… it’s one of many things the U.S. would do well to emulate. That said, I don’t see many Americans being willing to pony up the extra taxes.
[...] corner of my eye hitting up some old lady for cash. For those of you who don’t remember the original post, I gave him money about a month ago only to be chastised for not giving more (apparently €3,50 [...]
I get this from time to time here but nothing compared to rome. I help people from time to time when i beleive it. If anyone askes me for food and i have time i take them to lunch, well actually it normally goes like
BUM: i have not eaten for days
me: that is to bad
Bum: do you have some change
me: Tell ya what lets go to this coffe shoppe here i will buy you lunch
bum: they wont let me in there
mE: I know the owner if you come in with me it will be ok
bum: come on man just give me some money
me: no
ok it only happend once. but i dont get asked theat much and i think i pay a lot in taxes here and what chaps me is the artical i read in the morganpost early this winter about the homless girl who was with child. I mean it was a real sob fest story her jealous BF made her leave the shelter cause other guy would hit on her. then there was a big dialoge with her and she had all these expectation about a nice apartment with a bath tub and a room for the baby and she talked about it like she was owed this, she did not mention once looking for work, studing, or any idea how she would eventually become selfsufficent but she could not understand how she did not have a apartment with a bathtub and a room for the baby. opps i started my own blog