The student becomes the master.
Feb 19th, 2008 by B.
For years now part of my shtick with Sydney has involved pretending I don’t know her. She’ll come running and, as she reaches for my hand, I’ll say “Who are you?” to which she’ll chortle and reply “mo-ooom, it’s me, Sydney!”
“Sydney?? I don’t know no stinkin’ Sydney,” I’ll retaliate. “I don’t even like kids… so get out of here, before I call the cops.”
Now before the hate mail starts flowing, let me just say that this is probably only about a third as emotionally damaging as it sounds. I’m sure Dr. Spock (were he alive today) would be in favor of this sort of role-play, as it’s clearly character building.
That said, today I got my comeuppance. As Sydney skipped happily along at the end of the school day, I bent to tie my shoe. Looking up I spotted her on the school playground and walked over - reaching out to take her hand: “Who are YOU??” she screamed, jerking her hand from mine. Two pta moms standing nearby swapping rice krispie recipes turned to stare.
“Ha-ha, very funny, Sydney,” I said, reaching for her hand again, “but it’s time to go.”
“My name’s not Sydney!” she yelled, edging toward the monkey bars, “now get out of here before I call the police!”
A crowd was forming. My eyes darted nervously, searching for escape. Sweat, thick & sticky as the Amazon in monsoon season, ran slowly down my back. I saw a woman slowly sliding something steely-gray out of her purse. Jesus, was that a gun??
Thankfully Sydney chose this point to dissolve into fits of laughter and launch herself at me, asking if we could stop for ice cream on the way home. I smiled and waved to the crowd, giving them my best ‘kids will be kids’ shoulder shrug/head shake. Then, as I ruffled Syd’s hair affectionately, I leaned down and slowly whispered: “I am so going to kill you when we get home…”
But now - the white-hot fury & abject humiliation faded with time, I realize I must give credit where it’s due… my little grasshopper snatched the pebble from my hand today. The Master Po in me can’t help but be proud.
And just as soon as I’m actually speaking to her again, I’ll be sure to let her know…
On this day..
- LondonTrippen - 2007
- Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore... - 2006
Grrr, I really need to start proofing posts before I publish them. For those of you with readers that capture the initial product - please ignore all the typos & read this edited, new & improved version.
B.
LOL! I guess you really do have to watch what you say to kids!
Claire’s last blog post..Cake Will Save the Day
hahahaha — OMG, that kid is crackerjack. Too good.
I firmly believe that humor is one of the finest gifts we pass on to the little heathens.
more cowbell’s last blog post..The Canine Chronicles
Thanks, she IS pretty darn funny. The best part was when I read this post to her and she beamed and said “It’s ok mommy, there’s still lots of stuff you can teach me.”
I started a reply to you that has turned into a post so I will just ask that you swing by and take a look at my own falling down as a father.
Ward’s last blog post..Christmas gifts for mom
On my way now…
Sidney has her mother’s comic timing!
Ouch. Did I tell you about the time our neighbor’s four-year-old started laffing at and simultaneously correcting my German? Wanted to throttle her. Walked away with the most Herculean of efforts. I told my wife about it later, and she said, “Hmm, well, you correct me a lot……”
When she can walk across rice paper without tearing it, she’ll be ready to conquer the world!