Dumb it down.
Mar 6th, 2008 by B.
With the Texas & Ohio primaries behind us we’re still no closer to knowing who the next democratic candidate for president will be. I think I’ve figured out how Hillary and Barak can up (or maybe lower) the ante.
They need to appeal to apathetic voters on a level the voter identifies with. For instance- the whole Jerry Springer crowd may not give a shit about nafta, but you can bet your ass they’ve formed strong opinions on Britney Spears’ parenting skills. Hillary could capitalize on this by working her whole ‘it takes a village’ angle and endorsing a timeshare with Kfed, Britney, Britney’s parents, court-appointed guardians, bodyguards, the LAPD and the entire TMZ film crew sharing equally. And Barak could tout a modern-day, alternative approach… giving Sean Preston & JJ to Brad and Angelina to raise.
Or maybe Obama can back shy little David Archuleta for the American Idol win? Meanwhile Clinton can flex her girl-power muscle by saddling edgy, tattooed Irish rocker, Carly Smithson, and riding her like the torch-singing Sea Biscuit she is.
Potential new surgeon general? Obama: Dr. Phil, Clinton: Dr. Drew.
Press secretary? Clinton: Carson Daily, Obama: Ryan Seacrest.
Foreign policy advisor? Hillary: Ugly Betty, Barak: Raja from Aliens In America.
I’m telling you, this could work (although we’re running out of primaries - they’d better act fast)… instead of blaming the decline of civilization, let’s pander to it instead. Fuck MTV - this is how you rock the vote.
I’d so LOVE to see that!
Janine’s last blog post..?Einbruch? wider Willen
How about a real-life version of Celebrity Deathmatch?
Mike B’s last blog post..The Unseen Enemy
By advocating dumbing it down, aren’t you assuming there’s room left to go in that direction?
ian in hamburg’s last blog post..My day as an American pizza chef
Ooh, burn. Nice.
Sadly, I’m sure it there is still room left to go in that direction. I notice the longer I live in Europe, geographically separated from U.S. society, the snobbier/more enlightened* I get about all sorts of things.
*Geschmackssache
Sadly, you’re probably on to something. But please, let’s not even consider Seacrest for anything. He’s like nails on my brain’s chalkboard. Last night’s political crappery on Larry King about had me spewing dinner at the TV, some rightwing puppet accusing the Clinton campaign of wanting Obama to “sit in the back of the bus”.
We need to quit the infighting and look at the bigger picture, or else we will be left to entertain ourselves with MTV and Britney’s panty status to avoid thinking about the next 4 years.
more cowbell’s last blog post..Kellyanne Trips to the Back of the Bus
Hahaha. Great post. Nice little jab at this circus we call an electoral process. You should be hired as campaign manager (by both of them) immediately.
Click’s last blog post..love song while running away