The Bends.
Aug 18th, 2008 by B.
I think my ascension from having 5 people constantly buzzing around me, to complete and total isolation might have been a little too drastic today. I’ve been fantasizing about all the great stuff I could do once I was finally alone, but all I’ve managed so far is to read the same four chapters over & over in my new book. I haven’t even taken the 2-hour bubble bath with the bathroom door wide open that I’ve so been coveting for the past month.
I did manage to have a lengthy internal debate over why I feel John Edwards is such a douche for cheating on his wife with a campaign manager (documentarian… whatever), when I was able to shrug it off completely with others (Bill Clinton being a prime example). Normally stuff like that doesn’t phase me. I figure politicians & mistresses go together like syphilis & oozing skin lesions… you just can’t have one without the other.
Still, the whole Edwards thing I find really distasteful, which makes me feel like a judgmental hypocrite, which I find equally distasteful. It’s a vicious cycle.
On this day..
- Hysterical. - 2007
- Sugar cone festivals & parenting at warp speed. - 2007
- Paris. - 2006
I guess I’m naive, but I really don’t think it’s strange to assume that someone who seems intelligent, has been running for president for six years, and has a fantastic wife should be wise enough to keep it in his pants. At least with Clinton we saw it coming (crap, that doesn’t really make it better, does it?).
A friend of mine wrote this, I think it’s worth reading:
My contradictory thoughts about John Edwards
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Could it possibly have to do w/ the fact that this slimy affair went on during the time that Elizabeth was going through cancer treatments? That would be my reason for not thinking much of him personally….Not that I spend much time thinking about politicians anyway, lol
I too agree there is something distasteful about John Edwards and I had once thought he would be a decent politician (oxymoron?). It’s not the affair, as much as it is the justification. The whole “I was 99% honest” and “my wife was in remission at the time” are not mitigators and the fact that he tried to use them as such disapoints me. The fact that Edwards believes that the public (me) is so stupid that they would accept these excuses as mitigation speaks volumes about him. You got caught, ‘fess up and take the beating, but don’t you dare say it’s not that bad because your wife was in remission at the time.
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Hi B! Glad you’re free again.
The Edwards thing frustrates me in two ways:
1) He claims to have admitted it to his wife prior to starting his presidential bid. So that means they decided together to outright lie about the affair rumors that had been swirling around for months. What hubris! To go into a national, high-publicity campaign with a sword of Damocles like that hanging over your head? Did they really not expect to be found out?
2) This effectively derails Elizabeth’s burgeoning political career as an advisor on healthcare issues, at least in the short term. And John’s work in the service of aiding the impoverished (already not the sexiest of issues) will take a much lower profile now.
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It seems worse because Edwards sold himself and a good guy and family man. With that smile and that wife, it was easy to buy. Some how that never seemed the case with Clinton. It seems pretty low that it happened during the entire cancer treatment. But then again, who am I to judge someone’s marriage? Cheating usually has nothing to do with sex. For politicans it is usually about power and a person willing to do what they want. For “normal” people it is usually a sign that there is something else wrong in the marriage.
But that is enough of that. Think of something nice and go take a bubble bath!
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He didn’t look like a cheater? She didn’t seem cheatable? Let’s think about the implications of that for a moment.
This is definitely not an attack aimed at Claire; please don’t misunderstand me. But there’s something really sick happening there, and probably in millions of minds. And I’m sure it’s nothing new. Is that better or worse?
This is exactly why I was bothered by my reaction. Truth is, the personal dynamics of ANY relationship would probably seem bizarre if held up to public scrutiny. Likewise, I firmly believe that no matter who you are: male, female, priest, president, head of the pta… you will cheat if you find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Wrong place/time being in close proximity with someone you find attractive for long spans of time; being flattered and made to feel powerful and desirable (who doesn’t want that?), and feeling like you’ve got the time & wherewithal to get away with it. Given that set of circumstances, you, me and everyone we know would eventually succumb.
But does that impact our ability to be good leaders? Or decent parents or friends or role models? Absolutely not. Sex is a primal thing. It’s about as close as we urban warriors get to tapping into our animalistic instincts. And (if you’re doing it right) isn’t it great?? In the heat of the moment wouldn’t you think and say and do things you’d be ashamed to confess the next day, fully clothed and enjoying a nice meal with friends at an upscale restaurant?
Does any of that make you a hypocrite? Nope, it just makes you human. I’m sure there are some out there who honestly believe they’d never cheat, and I’ll allow for the possibility that that might be true. Just like there are many who believe there’s a benevolent, omnipresent old man with a flowing white beard, just sitting up in the clouds answering prayers. And, again, I’ll allow that there’s a possibility for that too.
I think it’s all about putting yourself in some else’s shoes, no matter how distasteful you find it. We’re at our best when we empathize, and through the years I’ve discovered that life is almost never black & white. It’s all about those shades of gray. I can still like, respect and be friends with someone who’s cheated on their spouse, or had a child removed due to a drug or drinking problem, or who looked at me through the lens of a camera and said ‘I did not have sexual relations with that woman…’
I wouldn’t want to be in personal relationships with any of them, yet I’m confident they can not only do their job(s), but that they sincerely want to make the world a better place for all of us.
As for the whole charm & looks thing, John F. Kennedy had a killer smile and Jackie O seemed perfect. Yet, from the sound of it, Kennedy fucked everything that moved, and ‘camelot’ was nothing more than spin. We want our public figures to be perfect when we can’t even manage it ourselves. That’s why I’d never want to be famous or powerful… too many unreasonable expectations. Ugh.
I guess the thing that bothered me about John Edwards was that he did this while on the campaign trail with Kerry… what a phenomenally stupid risk to take. Plus is wife was sick. You’re supposed to step up to the plate when the chips are down, not unzip your pants. But, then again, who am I to decide what’s right or wrong? Ultimately it’s none of my business, and I’m actually embarrassed for them that it had to be made public. God knows I’ve done plenty of things I’d never want you guys to know about, let alone the world…
Only an observation, but if Edwards says he was having an affair with this gal….and the campaign manager says he was having an affair with her…..seems like she was having relations with alot of guys associated with this campaigning business. Seems like this is the ideal place for a guy to hang out and pick up chicks….while campaigning. But with my luck….I’ll be campaigning for Ron Paul and just meet the over age 50 gals.
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